St Cecilia – the other side of the story

It was St Cecilia’s day last Friday, a day with some significance for me, not because of any particular belief in the Catholic saints, but because she’s the patron saint of music and her day is often an excuse for a concert. My musings this year, however, turned to her husband, Valerian.

To put you in the picture, St Cecilia took a vow of chastity but was forced to marry by her parents. Valerian only found out about the chastity thing when the time came to consummate the marriage, at which point Cecilia told him she had a guardian angel who would punish him severely if he violated her. His protestations that he could see no angel were met with the rejoinder that if he converted and was baptised he would indeed see the angel. This he did and was duly martyred in an early example of Catch 22. Here’s his take on the whole affair.

Valerian

Talk about a raw deal!
So, the marriage was arranged, right?
The girl seemed nice enough - blonde
easy on the eye, nice figure 
good family too 
a bit religious for my taste but who cares?
I thought she’d do

So, we get to the church and it’s a bit weird
Instead of being at the centre of things, 
like you’d expect, she sat to one side 
mouthing all this Christian hocus pocus
I said to her, come on, you’re supposed to be the bride
can’t you stop your mumbling 
and just, just focus

Well, we had the feast
chatted away
I thought, this is going to be all right 
but the strangest thing
I’d have to say 
was in the bed that night

she wouldn’t let me near her
I thought, poor kid, it’s nerves 
but no, she says she’s special
(I’d have called it odd)
claimed to be protected 
by an angel sent by God
warned me there’d be consequences 
if I joined her in the bed
Consequences! I ask you!
We’d just that day been wed

And I could see no angel
but I left the deed unfinished
taking her at her word
when she said that I’d be punished
if the marriage was consummated 
and she herself was violated

well, I didn’t fancy being punished 
so I asked what I should do
Go get baptised, she said, 
then you'll see the angel 

she didn’t lie
I saw it through
got baptised
saw the light
knelt and prayed
I couldn’t stop

next thing I knew I'm taken 
by Tuncius and his men
Seized, imprisoned, without a fight
And now it seems I’m for the chop

In my ears I think I hear the sound of hollow laughter
some marriage that was, some happy ever after
I was happy as a single man 
down the tavern with my mates 
should have seen the danger signs 
before it was too late
but no, not me, I jumped right in
didn’t think my fears were real

It’s no time since the vows were read
And pretty soon I’ll end up dead

Image courtesy of G Starke and Flickr under Creative Commons